It all led to my mother

   

Here comes a feeling I thought I'd forgotten. Oh well, tears fall over my face, my eyes are hurting, my hair is messy and I'm smoking a cigarrette I didn't want to. I'm so tired of my appearence, tired of my body and I wanna detach myself from it, let it fall on the floor like a piece of clothing I've been waiting all day long to take off and never pick it up again. I'm feeling like a hurricane.

Let's get rid of it all, shall we? But how am I supposed to get rid of me? Rid of these dark and suffocating thoughts? I'd alredy distanced myself of all people, and I want no one to touch me again or listen to me. I'm too damaged.

I wanted someone to hold on to but I guess not anymore. I still remeber the taste of your lips on mine, how toxic they are. I'm feeling  like haze at night.

What is it with these mind games? You kissed me and it felt like a hit in my face. Could we take a break? I've got a dozen insecurities and I think you wouldn't be worried for me.